Are You The Same Online vs IRL

There is a difference between how we communicate online vs how we communicate in person. I am odd for an introvert, I do better in person. The main difference is online I get to have control of the topic. Most people are extroverts in real life and introverts online. It is weird but I do think that most extroverts get the taste of thinking before speaking, and the “I don’t know if the other person is going to get this” feeling.

The most interesting thing about writing this blog is I have no idea what I will write about. It will either be a lingering thought or something fresh. Today it is a lingering thought. Yesterday I posted this to my personal Facebook account.

Funny, right? From there I went to twitter and posted about the difference between being with friends and being your most authentic self vs the person you are at work or on the internet. Now I live in a weird spot in my mind right now. I am trying to build a good reputation online by just being the nice guy I am. Putting positivity out there and all that. In real life, I do just that anyway, but I am funnier about it or at times more reserved about it. If I am in my head I am petty sure you would think I was angry all day, I have some RBF going on. But if I am not I can be seen smiling. Look at me this treasure troll below is me before writing.

Good Morning!

Fresh haircut right? Anyway, I am not loud in real life unless I want to be. I choose to be outgoing-ish online because the truth is it is the best way for a creative type to get out in the world and still keep their voice. The work they put out over time will paint not only a picture of who they are but what they value and it will build their brand so that people would know their work instantly. I choose to have a fast style when it comes to writing, it is almost as coherent as when I speak. I don’t hold what I have to say as precious or archival. I think like me it will be a flash in the pan, a vapor; one day we will be gone. But the moment this moment you are reading I get to leave an impression, I get to spread goodness. Cheesy, yes, true, you bet your sweet ass. Now the Facebook post above is cheeky, I like being cheeky, it is my favorite. If we are friends in real life, you get the quick cheeky-ness from me. As I think about it and think about what I want to do having an online presence it makes me think I should bring more of that side. More of the side I reserve for friends and family to the table. Because that is probably my best side.

Now I have to get to work, I have no solutions. I just thought I would throw it out there.

Good morning!

Or whenever you read this goodness to you.

Later Gator.

Your friend,

Nino.

Overcoming Fear

Fear is a hidden motive. Like a fictional character arch, I didn’t know it was a problem for me. I didn’t know that it had been a part of my life pulling me back. I honestly thought I was pretty fearless. But unlike a character in a fiction, nothing dramatic happened to make me face this problem. I took a personality test. I reflected on my choices in life, and well, there were a lot based on fear and it came through avoidance. It showed it’s ugly face the most in the need to know everything.

I would have an idea or a problem and my solution was to research, find out more, or make a plan, hell even set a goal instead of take action. I had seen the loop, the days, weeks and even years on repeat, but I didn’t know how to stop it. I could see the habit, but I didn’t see the underlying fear controlling my thinking. I was stuck on repeat until now. Now when I have a problem or get an idea; I see my initial reaction to hide or learn more and instead of doing that I just dive right in.

We have a choice when we are faced with our fears. We can accept them, we can deny them, or we can overcome them. If they are a deep-seated fear and manifest in the way we deal with life then we have to overcome them continually. Like an alcoholic who lives in the safety of being intoxicated, our fears will drive us to the safest place it can find. I know not all of us are driven by fear. Some of us need to stop and actually think, using a process because pragmatism isn’t a strong suit. But fear is one of the greatest human motivators and we all have different reactions to it.

Fear is like a parasite eating away at most people’s dreams and ability to make a better life for themselves. Each person must figure out what feeds it and starve it to death.

Later Gator.

Your friend,

Nino.

The Root of All Good

We all know the biblical saying “the love of money is the root of all evil.” I am not going to get into that and all the hang-ups people have because of it. Instead, I want to get to the root of all that is good. Serving others.

Grab a business book, grab a self-help book, grab a religious book and there will be a common thread, how can you be of service to others? It is the one thing that we all have in common. When we serve others, not begrudgingly, we feel great! It is when we act out of selfishness that shit goes wrong. *small rant at the bottom if you want to go there* When we serve if we do it right, we will not be looking for the return. That isn’t to say we don’t deserve one or are not entitled to one. It is when we do it and if we do it right, the person served would only be giving back a fraction of what was done. That is not only good business, it is the best way to be a human being.

So, a personality flaw that I have is avarice or at least that is what enneagram 5’s have. It isn’t only for material possessions, but it could be time, ideas, junk, I am not sure on the list of thing I could horde or hold back on, I just know it in myself when it comes up. When I see the world with limits, I stop sharing, stop giving and stop serving. Another personality flaw we also see the world as something separate and dangerous. A lot of fear-based decisions happen that way and it doesn’t lead to serving others. It looks at others with mistrust and suspicion, mostly because I and we have no clue what you are thinking. Anyway, the way I overcome that kind of mental thinking is to think abundance and in connectedness to everything. I know very woo-woo, but it works. That is why service came to mind for me this morning. I thought about what it is I am trying to do online. There is a lot, but one of those things is to help others, to serve them, to… love them in my own way. I do it through this blog, writing positive posts and doing my best to be encouraging. The world can be a negative place, I don’t need my mind to be one either.

So the root of all that is good is service. The bottom line is we can all do something, even if it is a small, “good luck on being alive today” post. When we put serving others first it pushes the ego out and helps us focus on giving the best we have to give. It seems like there is a weird stigma around being positive and optimistic, I don’t give a shit, I will be a positive voice for my friends, family, and anyone I come across, I think you should too.

Gotta Go.

Later Gator,

Your friend,

Nino.

* I am pretty sure we could live in a peaceful diverse world if we could all live in service to each other. The reason it will not happen is most of us live in scarcity. We think with a limited mindset and to protect or care for the ones we love we look at resources and horde them. We look at anyone outside of that familial bond as an enemy or thief. It is on most levels that simple. Now that is the reason I don’t think love is the root of all that is good. Love can make enemies, but if you want to serve someone you don’t have to love them. You can serve your enemies, you can serve someone you disagree with, you can serve someone as a customer who needs your service and be good to them.