When You Are The Problem

Good morning, let’s go!

Struggles get easier to deal with when we understand them. So, back when video games were new. Super Mario was the shit. Run and gun games challenged our reflexes and ability to deal with what was coming ahead. After dying a thousand times we beat the stage. The stage level didn’t change, our ability to deal with it did. Not only that, our insight into the problems ahead increased. We knew what was going to happen. We knew what problems are coming and who is coming for us, Hammer Bro turtles I see you. We learned from our mistakes and ignorance. With insight we were able to avoid pitfalls and bypass some hard parts of the game.

We understood the game, the goals, the challenges, and struggles. In life we could only wish it would be so easy. But it is not. The old Nintendo controllers where a directional control, select, start, and A, B buttons. Two players and most of the time it was one at a time. The shitty thing is one of the controllers was always shit. Sticky button, had to mash it, short in the wire, something didn’t work right. So, if you got the bad controller, you had an extra obstacle. You still tried to play, you still tried to have fun, but you knew shit was harder for you.

Imagine going your whole life and not knowing there was something wrong with you. Imagine trying your best to function like everyone else and failing at the simplest things. Shit that makes sense to do, but you just can’t seem to get there. You cannot get things done. It is internally hard. And the whole time, you devalue yourself, you see, you are the problem, but fuck, you don’t know what it is that makes you unfixable. Then you learn it isn’t just you. You learn other people struggle. You learn that there is a diagnosis. You see enough of the signs to wince. That is what is like learning in your adult years you probably have ADHD and Executive Dysfunction. It changes the game.

Anyway, I am learning how to deal with my Nintendo controller because I still have to play.

Later Gator 🐊