I had wrote a twenty-two page reflection on the last twenty years of my life. To keep it short and to feel the blur of time I omitted huge amounts of life events. I boiled it down to what was important in my life, in my mind, and at work.
It became two drafts. The first a dark view. The second a positive review. The first drag was life happening to me. I was resentful of the good fortune and had enough excuses for the bad. In the second I intentionally worked through it to be grateful for the positive and realistic about the disappointments.
Here’s the point. We can all look at our lives in a positive or negative way. Even if we previously had a bad attitude towards our own life. We can change. All we have is this moment and we don’t need to taint it by continuing a negative outlook. Once I recognized I didn’t want that to be my story, I took a different view. I didn’t change the facts, just how I saw it. Twenty years of doing uninspiring work just to keep my family stable and healthy isn’t a story that inspires others, but it is my story.
I’m not sure if I will publish it, but I’m go lad I went through the struggle to write it.