Growth is something business books and self-help books center around. Something they don’t shy away from is the subject of friendship. Surround yourself with the best, get a mentor, get rid of your old friends. The advice makes sense, if you are like who you surround yourself with then why not the best.
It isn’t a relationship, it is a transaction. What can I get from them? How am I going to grow? Do I provide value? Is spending time with them worth it?
So, most books advocate for transactional relationships because they are to help you grow.
Do you know what it doesn’t make you? A better friend.
This is has been on my mind for a few days now. So you are getting the synthizied version. But true good friendships are based on experience. The experience of life and of the other person. In life, family bonds are built through the traditions, rituals, games, and hardships the family goes through. Living together is an experience that makes us closer. We extend these friendships in our youth to others and they become friends. But here is the thing, the others we extend it to are in themselves and enjoyable experience for us and that is why we accept them into our world. If it is a good friendship all the familial activities will be shared with them too. They are chosen family.
If you apply growth as a qualifier of friendship, you may have lost the light that would be there when the world gets dark. Some of the best people don’t offer growth opportunities but life.