There is something we all need and it is help. We search through books, blog posts, and Youtube video’s praying we find the answer to our problem. We want insight or hint to get past the barrier that is blocking our view.
When I was a kid Nintendo was new. I know I am old. But Nintendo wasn’t made with the easy pass the level and finish the game settings that most games today have. You had to get better at the game to beat it. If you are like me at some point in your childhood you hit the game wall. You handed over the controller to an older sibling and said “could you please pass this part for me?” For me, that person was my older brother. He would pass the hard part and then I was free to play until I inevitably failed. I failed because I did not have the skill to beat the stage. I was a weak player. That is not all. When you hand the controller over it is harder to get it back from your older brother, especially with five years difference. I didn’t want him to play the game for me. I wanted his help to get passed the hard part.
We are the hero in our life’s journey. Even if we do not feel like we are the hero, we are. Every external hardship is a reflection of our internal struggle and it comes to life the more we refuse to learn from our personal past. We manifest our own problems and until we take action we cannot move past the growth stage we are facing. To truly grow we must face our old solutions to problem-solving and do something different.
But here is the thing, we stupidly believe that someone can do this for us. We believe reading a book, listening to a podcast, reading a blog post, or watching the Youtube video is the equivalent of actually doing the work. Life did not hand you this opportunity to grow just for you to turn to someone else to fix it. No, this is your journey. Big brother doesn’t get to take the controller and make the move for you. But he does get to help you by being the mentor and giving you the tips, tricks, and insights to get past it. You have to play the game.
With that being said; you cannot take someone else’s controller. You cannot step in and play their game of life for them.
But there is a weird loop in life. We are the hero in our own journey and the mentor in other’s journeys. We live in a loop. Once you have passed a stage others will look to you to learn how to do it too.
Nobody wants you to be the hero in their lives. They do not want to play second fiddle, they do not want to be the supporting role. No matter how hard their struggle or how far their journey goes they want to be the one that the action depends on. They do not want to be subject to life’s whims, but the reason for the chaos that surrounds them. They want to be the head of the spear. Remember that when you offer someone help. Give them the means to rise up, give them the courage to face the day, give them the tip that changes everything, but let them beat the stage on their own.