IF I were to run for the governorship of Utah this would be my platform:
1) abolishment of the state-run liquor store. It is a capitalistic enterprise and shouldn’t be run by a bunch of socialists who want to control the majority through religious pressures.
2) legalize marijuana: it would be legalized for all uses. Selling would require a license at a low fee, this would increase tax revenue and create small mom and pop pothead shops. Talk about buying locally.
3) I would increase cameras in schools literally every room, teachers would have no privacy. It would be the no banging students law. With that same provision, there would be a ten-fold increase in counselors and mental health experts. I believe counselors would if applied properly reduce school bullying and potential shooter situations. With increased counselors, we can also curb the teen suicide rate in our state. On top of that, we could potentially get kids out of abusive houses. I also think that it is a great service to the next generation to learn that with the counsel of others they can make better life decisions.
4) I would reduce tax for small businesses that pay for rental retail space.
5) I would reduce state tax to 1% on hourly wage employees making minimum wage. (They’re fucking broke.)
6) I would offer state scholarships for adults in their thirties who want to take on a trade i.e. plumbing, electric, construction, automotive, shit like that.
7) I would increase the number of doctors and nurses; increasing the number of medical schools in Utah.
8)I would pull a socialist-ass move and have state-run hospitals in every city. It would run similarly to a regular hospital supporting independent doctors but also have its own staff.
9) I would increase minorities in law enforcement. Hopefully to stifle the prejudices against police as the bad guys and to increase the respect minorities deserve. Hopefully creating community pillars through their efforts.
10) There would be an aggressive marketing campaign for Utahans to seek the wellness of their respective communities. The hope is people take pride in being from a place where you can live in peace with your neighbor.
11) Gang allegiance would be considered terrorism. It is intimidation and violence that is destructive to the wellness of our law-abiding citizens. I would push the criminal punishment as far as I could. Merica!
12) I would put a limit on the destruction of our natural lands. the suburban sprawl is out of control and we need to start building up.
13) Utah needs to focus on being a clean and healthy environment for all. Environmental regulatory practices will be harder. Companies will comply because we will be a place the bosses want to live in. If not Fuck them.
14) Parks. We need more parks of all kinds. We need forests and running trails. We need to get the Great Salt Lake filled up again. We need to focus on making Utah a naturalist paradise.
15) Religion… Fuck. There are the big ten commandments that are pretty fair. If you don’t hold the first one. You can respect the rest. We want to be free from other people’s religions. If you are a Christian you should be free to worship as you choose. If you are an atheist, you can not have to abide by other people’s beliefs, but you don’t have to be an asshole, just because you only believe in science.
16) Whores: Prostitutes must obtain a business license, for tax reasons and Johns must obtain a license with a physical and blood tests to be renewed every month.
17) Lottery, yes. Let’s stop people from wasting their money across state lines and give them a shot here at home. The money can go to support the schools or some shit like that.
18) Road tax. If you have a trucking company and you run through Utah, you are going to pay for the fucking road you destroyed.
19) We will get an NFL professional team. I am sick of us not having one. We should get the saints. I am sure the Mormon Church could throw us a billion or two to get a team like that here.
20) More than one fucking law school. We need at least three.
21) More fucking swimming pools. At least one in every city. You shouldn’t have to take your kids to a different city to go swimming. And you shouldn’t have to take them to a ghetto ass splash pad and act like life is fucking good. I don’t care how much you make. Your shit looks broke. We are better than that.
Also, I am drunk. It is been a rough day.
The twenty-one point platform, was a vodka fueled Facebook post intended to get some lol’s… It only got likes and a couple of I’d vote for you. My disappointment was nonexistent.
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