What do you do when you want to change your life’s direction? What advice would you give to those just starting or starting over?
There is a pastor Andy Stanely who has the most practical living advice of anyone I have ever heard. If you want to grow as a leader or just in your life, look him up, he is a great resource (and it is free). Now he does a sermon series on I think it is your path. But I will never forget this: “Your attention, not your intention, will determine your direction.” The answer to the first question, give your attention to where you want to go in life.
The advice that I would give to my kids and to anyone just starting is; do what you love and find people who are doing it too. At the beginning of your life and your career, it is easier to build momentum with a group of people pushing you to be better. Don’t chase someone else’s strengths but capitalize on yours. Realize that not everything you love is meant to make you a living. Some things we do are just for pleasure, they don’t have to make you money. Then do the work of figuring out what is ingrained in you like being an introvert or being an emotional person, then work on making it your strength.
This one is where most people live. Believe it or not, most people are not happy with where they are at in life. They want to change what they do day-to-day. They wish they could start over but continue because their lives are set. The quarantine has a lot of people stuck at home with no income and nothing to do. You see a lot of people didn’t give themselves the opportunity to explore what life has to offer. They didn’t look in the mirror and see themselves. They looked at either their flaws or imagined being someone they weren’t. Starting over for them has a price. It is enduring the pain of being responsible for their lives and the current outcomes they are getting. And it is being honest with their weaknesses and strengths. Self-evaluation is the new starting point.
From there, they have to pick not the outcome of their lives, but the progression. When you have to start over, and start over, and start over again, you learn that having an end game isn’t the point. Progression, becoming, looking to the next level becomes the game. I will put it in simple business progression terms.
A woman starts a small coffee shop that was her dream. Done. The shop is opened, the dream accomplished. She gets it running smoothly and decides she can open a second one across town. (People are asking her too or there are no coffee shops in that area) She opens the second. She learns to manage managers. She opens a third and shit really gets hard and then easy again. After that, she starts to look out of state. Her dream expands and she has a bigger vision for her coffee shop. Finally, she hands over a lot of the operation to other professionals and she keeps her eye on the horizon. She started over at the age of fifty because she was laid off from her job as an office assistant. She loved leading and running things, she also loved coffee. Her natural ability was to lead and organize, she was also an extrovert, her little dream was to own and run her own business. The dream wasn’t to own or run a major corporation. Everything that happened after her initial dream was her giving attention to living out her dream of running her business. There is no end game for her.
Starting over must be like that for anyone who wants to start over. Quit looking for the exit to life and look to doing things that progress your life. Hobbies, friendships, and work all play a part in your growth and expression of who you are. There is no end game of being you.
Flip The Script
My own start over. I should just call it my own stumbling. It has taken on many faces, many wrong turns, and many jumping-off points. The reason; I have a ton of interests and a weird ego. I think and write about things I have no interest in executing on. I am not lazy, but laid-back. I don’t want the hustle and grind. I want the artist’s life, the writer’s life, the stay at home and think about shit kind of life. The glory, the fame, the solitude, the writing of notes, the comparison and union of thoughts, and above that to write something fun. To write a story, to make people happy, to give what I want out of life. I don’t really want more knowledge, I want happiness and laughter. So, I am flipping the script. I am moving from a blogger of informative things to a blogger who pokes fun at things. I will still write informative things I will just add the funny and fun things. My attention is going to be on making, writing, creating humorous things. Life is very serious and we all need a break. So, there you have it. My mission in a nutshell. My unending game.