Have you ever thought, my life could be so much better if?
Well, you are not alone, everyone has the hypothetical “if” that makes everything better. Only if I went to college. Only if I had the courage to ask her out. If only my parents raised me right. If I could quit this job. If I got a raise, then my job would be great. If they offered more money I would switch companies. If I only had spent more time at home, my wife wouldn’t have left me. If I could understand what she really wanted then I would just give it to her. If I could be satisfied with living in one place then I would have friends. If the world didn’t change so much I would still have a job.
I mean if we didn’t have so many bullshit excuses, we would actually get to see what life would be like on our terms.
What we need to do is take a step back. Kill the if’s and look at what is. Reality is a cold glass of water on a summer day for those who want to take control of their lives. What hold’s us back from taking this step is there are no excuses left. The if’s become what. What are you going to do to make sure your life moves in the direction you want it to. What are you going to do to change your attitude, what skill are you going to pursue? what growth do you need to make you into the person who lives the kind of life you want? Because here is the simple truth, you are the kind of person who lives the life you got and responds to problems the way you do. Your age, your past, your pain, doesn’t have to continue to bring you down. College might not be right for you when you are fresh out of high school, but maybe it is what you need to do at forty, knowing you still have thirty years of work to go. Life isn’t decided by this arbitrary timeline that society has set up. My heart breaks for the teenager that ends their life, not knowing it can get better. My heart breaks for the father who runs out on his family, not knowing the joy he could bring and the redemption he can have in raising his own children.
We have to fight ourselves, our fears, our internal monologue that keeps us down. Life isn’t meant to be a secure enterprise but an expedition full of risk and growth. When we give in to our fears, when we give in to the ideas of comfort, we lose our natural inclination to grow and our joy of success.