Fear is a hidden motive. Like a fictional character arch, I didn’t know it was a problem for me. I didn’t know that it had been a part of my life pulling me back. I honestly thought I was pretty fearless. But unlike a character in a fiction, nothing dramatic happened to make me face this problem. I took a personality test. I reflected on my choices in life, and well, there were a lot based on fear and it came through avoidance. It showed it’s ugly face the most in the need to know everything.
I would have an idea or a problem and my solution was to research, find out more, or make a plan, hell even set a goal instead of take action. I had seen the loop, the days, weeks and even years on repeat, but I didn’t know how to stop it. I could see the habit, but I didn’t see the underlying fear controlling my thinking. I was stuck on repeat until now. Now when I have a problem or get an idea; I see my initial reaction to hide or learn more and instead of doing that I just dive right in.
We have a choice when we are faced with our fears. We can accept them, we can deny them, or we can overcome them. If they are a deep-seated fear and manifest in the way we deal with life then we have to overcome them continually. Like an alcoholic who lives in the safety of being intoxicated, our fears will drive us to the safest place it can find. I know not all of us are driven by fear. Some of us need to stop and actually think, using a process because pragmatism isn’t a strong suit. But fear is one of the greatest human motivators and we all have different reactions to it.
Fear is like a parasite eating away at most people’s dreams and ability to make a better life for themselves. Each person must figure out what feeds it and starve it to death.