Why? Why would I give myself the title misfit?
I had spent the end of 2019 really digging into my personality traits. Things I don’t have control over. Traits I have in common with others and how they inform my personality. Two personality tests have become the basis of my thinking about this and then one is more for fun. The Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram are the two tests. I am an INTP on the Myers-Briggs test and a 5 on the Enneagram. What has pulled me is understanding the way my brain functions, processes information, and responds to the world. I don’t fit in. It is not that people don’t like me. It is I really don’t belong. I have a rebellious nature, feel weird in social situations, and unless I find it interesting I don’t care about most things. I am not the wallflower who is left out or unpicked, I am the kid in the corner drawing for two reasons, one people leave you alone if you are drawing, mostly; two I don’t want to be a part of the party, I like doing my own thing, which generally has nothing to do with the real world and if it does it is what I find interesting. I literally don’t fit in. I am a misfit in just about every situation I find myself in. I am okay with that. So, the third test is the Fascinate test. This one shows you how you come off to the world. What makes others interested in you. What makes you fascinating? I got the Provocateur. I am unorthodox and an outside of the box kind of thinker. I don’t draw attention to myself, but my ideas are attention-getting.
As I thought about personal brand, I thought about the one thing that sets me apart. The one constant that has been with me and will always be there. I just don’t fit in. I am a Misfit. I could go with nonconformist, but I am not that rebellious. I just constantly don’t fit in. I am always just a little out of step. I don’t try to break the away, I just see the world differently. That is my superpower. It is also my downfall.
See, being a 5 on the Enneagram, showed me why I get trapped in the learning loop, why I lived in it all these years and how I can get out of it. I learn because I am afraid of the world. I wouldn’t have said that before the test but after the truth hits you between the eyes you have to make peace with it. The fear of not knowing enough leads to a cycle of inaction, which collapses in on itself because learning seems like a legit solution to any problem. A saying I used to have was, “I need to figure this out.” I did not trust my solution or my ability to just wing it and figure it out as I went along. I had to know everything, or at least had to have enough knowledge to figure out the solution. You would think that I would be awesome by now, but one of my personality downfalls is as soon as I have a solution, the problem is boring and I don’t care. That doesn’t work when you hate your job, you see the solution, you kinda know what actions you could take to solve the problem, but move on as if you solved the problem. Lame right?
This is me working on my problems. I write. I write as expression and in a weird out of the way, way to fit into the world without having to be a part. I put words out there like a dandelion in summer. I let my words float into the world as my ambassadors. My thoughts, my greatest strengths get used and I get to live a peaceful quiet life of meaning. I get to help those who want it. I get to be a word of encouragement. I get to be a force for good. I get to write and it gets out into the world.
When it comes down to it I am a misfit, not a problem, not a delinquent, just an outsider who sees things differently. At my healthiest, I am a great force for good. I am a creative problem solver. I want to help in my way, which is through information and ideas.
So, I proudly take the title Misfit Writer, a little who I am and what I do. Life is too short to pretend you are something you’re not. It is nice to be here.
Sorry, for ending the blog and then starting it up again. Just the ending, not the restart. But the nice thing is I know what I am doing. I am here to help.