A tired writer and some faith

I am not perfect.

I am not God’s gift to the world.

I need rest.

I am good enough.

I have received God’s gift to the world.

This is a personal blog.

This is my personal blog.

After all it is Nino Olson dot com.

I am a christian.

I am not perfect.

I am tired.

I sin… a lot.

Sin is a loaded word, so is christian.

I spent time this week writing the faith page.

I am writing this Sunday because that is when I said I would.

I would love to tell you I killed it writing more on my Novel.

But…

That didn’t happen.

So, let’s talk.

I write. The more I do it the more I realize it is something I really want to do for a living. What that means is I have to work on it, and work on building an audience.  I still plan on writing horror. I think it is the most dynamic fictional genre.  It encompasses all the others, it just makes sense for me to pursue it. But to do that means I really have to work on building a writing business. Fun, right.  Doing so is going to require me to get better, not only at writing, but at putting my work out there.

I am tired.

I have been so tired lately. I can’t tell if it is the time change, lack of sleep, or stress, but what I know is before the day gets going I feel like I should be done. What makes this funny is I want to run an Ultramarathon next year. I want to do it just to push myself to the extreme, to build the mental fortitude that moves beyond immediate needs. I want to build such a mental state that I can move beyond what I think is possible. I know that kind of endurance training will get me there. I am tired thinking about it lol. On top of that I need to start writing on fiction alone about 1700 words a day.  I had done it before for about three months straight.  I think I can do it better and would like to try to do it every day for the entire next year. That would be 12 books. No guarantees.  These are daily enduring things that I would like to do. What I had learned over the last week was my family, my little tribe is my world. I am a family man.

What I have failed to do was take into account how much that influences me and what I do. It is the most dominating part of my life.  My family isn’t a hobby, it isn’t second to work, it comes before me and what makes me happy. My point is I have to take this into account when I set goals. The truth is I haven’t and that means those goals fail.

I am not perfect.

I don’t have the perfect life, I am not the perfect parent, I am not even a good christian. But I am good enough, I am good because my heart has been made right. I am good because I have been gifted the righteousness of Jesus. I am good by the grace of God. I believe that Jesus died for my sins and that he has done the same for everyone else who accepts that Jesus died for them on the cross taking their sins and giving them his righteousness. I am not perfect and have no room to judge anyone. I just want to share, what I believe and let grace do its work.

I am not God’s gift to the world.

I cannot make the world a better place. I cannot change the whole world. I cannot transform culture, I do not have the answer to solve any one’s problems, I cannot heal the world. I need to be healed, I need to be changed, I need to be loved, I need to be accepted, I need people, I need to sing songs to God because it makes me happy to sing. I have accepted Jesus as God’s gift to the world. Yes, I have a website, I ain’t shit.

I have accepted God’s gift to the world.

Jesus left humanity and left us with something better than him being here. “Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go I will send him to you…” John 16:7

That gift of the Holy Spirit is what births new life, new hearts, into those who believe. They come together, and the new gift to the world is the church. The imperfect people of God filled with his Spirit to reach out to the world with open arms. I go to church to be with God… I don’t believe the myth of the holy man who sets out alone and magically gets all the answers. No, I believe in the holy man and women of God who struggles with his or her fellow man, and endure and grow in love and compassion. I believe that we can be this anyway. I don’t believe the sermon will do it, but the enduring and loving conviction of the Holy Spirit in those who submit. It won’t happen by try to fit in, and be holy, but by being humble and loving.

I am going to end here. I cannot keep my eyes open. Sorry for any misspelling, digressions, or unfinished sentences. I hope that this time next week I will have more pages written and will have worked on this site a little bit more.

I love you.

From the cold unfinished basement,

Nino