This is On You!

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

Who Fucking Knows

This year is not going to be like any year before it. It isn’t going to repeat, the year that came before. It isn’t the middle of a loop. No, this year is going to be the end and the beginning. You and I will put an end to shit that no longer serves us. If that shit is dreams that trap us because the moment is gone, or habits that keep us in a state of mental frustration. It could also be attitudes that inform our thinking, be it negative or unrealistic optimism. Putting an end to shit isn’t easy. Putting an end to what you thought was your life- not because you’re a fucking quitter- but because it is time to grow up. It is not grow up and become a serious asshole, it is grow up and give up on shit that wasn’t meant for you. Grow up and embrace your purpose as your passion, your ability as your play, your skill as your expression, your dream as the vision of being happy, your life as a moment like the big bang- everlasting and gone.

Here’s the thing there are things you want to do. There’s abilities, skills, projects, and knowledge to obtain. There’s experience to have, projects to complete, art pieces and projects to create, stories to be told, and ideas to be shared. All of this only happens if we say “Fuck it, if it is to be, it is up to me.” The world we live in puts a lot in our hands. There’s a lot of responsibility we must take to live. Think about it, if you get hired for a job, you are responsible to get the job done. Your life is no different. Hire yourself, do shit you love, make it happen hire yourself to fulfill your dreams, goals, and ambitions. You don’t need permission, you need the courage to take the hits along the way and keep going. You need to say “fuck it” when the first failure happens. You need to say “Fuck it” I am going to try again. You need to say “Fuck it” I am not going to quit until I achieved this thing!

Hey, winging in life includes a lot of losing, just make sure your wins out number your losses. So, if you want, you can take charge of your life right now.

No One Is Perfect

Perfection is a silly thing that shouldn’t be applied to humans. Somehow we convince ourselves that we can be or that certain people are. It is a silly notion because it doesn’t exist. We are all flawed and to that we are wired to be different. The human default system isn’t programmable, there is no one size fits all personality. The “suits” was a derogatory term for men who gave up their personality to fit the company standard. I’m thinking early IBM, FBI, and the Matrixs. A man would just be a corporate cog. All to fit a false standard of perfection in business. Perfection is a myth- imagine the perfect person. Now imagine hanging out with them. Yeah, it doesn’t work. It is our imperfections that bind us together and make us loveable. As stupid as that is, it is simply true. Yet, we peddle ideas that we should become the best version of ourselves. For years, I let that thought float around in my head, what the fuck is the best version of me? I didn’t think to myself, it is a bullshit assumption and there isn’t a better version of me. No, I embraced the thought like a reason for my failures. I didn’t achieve, succeed or thrive because I am not the best version of myself. I need to change. After all, those suits did it, they succeeded. I was the problem.

Religion is based on you not being enough. The same goes for the self-help industry. The hook, the pull is you become good enough to be accepted, or for you to be good enough that you can go after your dreams. The acknowledgment that you are shit, is the first step in convincing you that they have a general solution to your specific problem, which is you being you. Sinner, broken, and poor in some kind of way. The leaders of these groups seem polished, perfect, and living their best life now. And if you follow them, buy their books, attend their church, and devote yourself to their way of life, you too can be perfect. Perfectly full of shit.

“Have No fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”

Salvador Dali

For a long time I thought, oh, the best version of ourselves is the most loving version. And for a long time that worked for me. Because I couldn’t imagine a happy perfect version of myself. So I would just try to be loving, and suggested other people be loving. To me a loving person checked off the boxes of what perfect could be. But I was missing something. I was missing what actually made people successful, something that made a person them. Being loving makes you a better person for sure, with loving comes understanding and a better life, but it doesn’t move your goals forward. But to be outgoing. Mind fucking blown. The best version of yourself is loving and outgoing. It is a version of you that loves themselves, others, life, and is outgoing; willing to meet new people, try new things, put their ideas out there and stick up for them. Now these two characteristics won’t make you perfect, but in my opinion it makes you the best version of yourself. The reason being is you don’t have to change who you are, not a perfect you, but a you that others want to be around and actually participates in life.

That is it for now, have a great weekend.

Thoughts on America’s Bad Day

January 6th

911 was an attack on America that change the way we lived and thought about our safety forever. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I didn’t watch TV when Columbine went down. But it left a scar and unfortunately changed the American school system as the attacks didn’t stop with that one. Since then we have had domestic terrorists kill many Americans in large numbers in churches, at concerts, and in movie theaters. It has become a part of our cultural experience. The media dismissed them as lone gunmen, mentally unstable, and acting alone. I had many conversations with work colleagues about the protests and riots after police killed unarmed black men. Their ideology lined up with a mainstream conservative view and they would say “I can’t wait:” or “I wish we would:” with a blood lust and malicious view in their mind continue, “have a civil war.” I would counter with “You mean you want to commit genocide. I am on the left, I have no intentions of going to war with you. Would you pull me and my family out in the streets and murder everyone you don’t agree with? Because without one side fighting, you want to do what the Nazi’s did and kill those you don’t agree with or like, that’s not a civil war” After Trump lost the election, they did what democrats did, they cried. But they also cried and claimed it was stolen. Without proof they claimed it was rigged. Without evidence they believed the lie. The fuck your feelings people based on their feelings that Trump should have won, decided the election was stolen. And like that their talk of civil war increased, and January 6th insurrection day, they were hoping a coup d’etat would take place and they would install Trump as President. They failed and on this first anniversary of a direct assault on American democracy from within I could not let it go.


Conservatives claim their freedoms are being taken away. This has happened before the pandemic, and when asked what freedom, all they could come up with is the freedom to abuse others. “I can’t say f*ggot anymore. I can’t say N*gger anymore. I can’t say you’re in America speak fucking English, anymore. I can’t tell black jokes, I can’t tell gay jokes, I can’t grab women’s asses I think’s hot. I can’t get my dick sucked by my coworker for a promotion without being called out for it. I can’t treat people like shit or property anymore, fuck I wish it were the good old days. I can believe I have to share a restaurant with Hispanic people or worse, Arabs, why can’t they learn the fucking language” *Sorry for the language I just want to drive home the point that hateful people think this way* These people have found a voice on twitter, Facebook, and the dark corners of the internet- because of that they have found ways to connect and feel as if their prejudice deserves the room for grievance. They dismiss the truth of others struggle and their own advantages. They downplay the harm they cause when they force their will on others. They act coldly and calculatedly to minimize the plight of minority groups and yet feel justified to complain that an inconvenience for them is really an injustice. It is this mindset, that lets the right wing talking heads and mouthpieces to convince them that those on the left are their enemies. That somehow their freedom is being infringed upon. You see, freedom is the freedom to walk down the street without being in fear. True freedom is to not be afraid of a government officer stopping you based on the color of your skin. True freedom is not being afraid of your neighbors because they threaten to kill you because you moved in and you’re not white. True freedom is being able to be yourself, and if you believe you’re a woman, to not be harassed by those who don’t agree with you. True freedom is being able to practice what religion you want based on your own conscience. True freedom is being able to marry the person you love. True freedom is being able to express your views without repercussions from the government or its officials. True freedom is getting an equal and fair treatment from those you do business with. True freedom is the government working for the good of all. None of those things have been taken or infringed upon for conservatives.

America My Home

My pride in America is like the pride a Father has for his son, yes, even the son that fucked up. Every day we are striving to be better, there are rich and poor people who take advantage and put themselves in the place to be at an advantage because of our freedoms, but over all we work well together. Overall everyday Americans are working to better their lives and in that we all can rise. Yes, there are shitty corporate heads and owners, who have treated Americans like property and have disadvantaged us all because their refusal to raise wages and instead hoarded wealth to themselves, but I digress. We as Americans have something worth striving for. We have our ideals of freedom. We could definitely work on our education, cuz some of us are as dumb and gullible as Pinocchio trusting those fucking cats. But over all conservative and liberal alike I do believe we want freedom, I do believe we want a peaceful society, I do believe we want prosperity and justice for all. I just don’t see us getting there with the current “culture war” culture isn’t to be forced, it is to be won through appeal and lifestyle choices, not legislation and force. A democracy is the majority wins. I love America, we are a shitty Great Nation a mixed bag of Assholes and free lovin’ crazies. I don’t pretend we have a God send, we are humans trying to live together the best we can and to keep life going as safe, free, and enjoyable as possible.

I’m ending here. Things will get better- even if they get worse first.

I know this is not part of the normal posting thing, but I wanted to get this off my chest.