Morning Routine Ruined and Thoughts About Life

Sometimes other people fuck up your morning, it is true. They think there is nothing wrong with being awake watching the Olympics starting at two in the morning. I would love to say my wife and daughter’s support for the US team is great, but the timing happens to be when I get up and get ready for work and set the tone for the rest of the day. There is a vibe at four in the morning with a hot cup of coffee and the world peaceful asleep- that I get to have alone. They squashed that vibe.

So instead of gradually waking up and then interacting with other people. I’m hit with humanity. My introvert side is raging while I sit here with headphones on jamming to music so I do not hear them. It is okay. It is just one day out of 365 this year. I will probably forget about it. But my day will be off. That is something I will have to live with.

Now here is the reality. My day nor my morning is ruined, there is nothing they could be doing that would throw me too far off of any real goals I have. They just changed the dynamic of my morning. They have things they want to engage me with, and to be honest, I have wasted many mornings on TikTok or Twitter just looking at what other people are doing. They could not do worse to me. What their presence has done has forced me to sit down and do what I have been planning on doing. Writing a blog post. I have put it off for a week. Not because I had anything to say, but I like to do it and I just had nothing, but this forced my hand to have something.

Life presents us with challenges. Those challenges are based on one question, “How bad do you want it?” That seems to be the most important question life is asking continuously. On a soul level and for most thing, there is also “what do you want?” but that is introspective and it doesn’t seem like the universe cares if you know the answer to the question. But once there is something you want, even something small, the world asks in a very physical way, “How bad do YOU want it?” Even if it is, how bad do you want to have a productive morning?

I cannot escape the grand sense of the human story in every person’s life. Their seemingly disjointed story, their story of failure, their story of triumphs and tragedies that brought them to a place of change. The small sacrifices- the simple struggles that build into a life, a person it is all based in the mundane. To me a journey of a lifetime is lived one day at a time. By deciding the destination, we unveil the purpose of our life. Because as much as I love a laid back life, the best live have struggles. The problem with most people is they think they need to know what they are here for before they can do anything, but they don’t understand life is like art, as you go you will uncover themes and challenges and as you rise, you will see a story of your own making. You will see that the role of hero was offered to you time and time again, the hand of God was reaching out to others through you. You will see that your life wasn’t meant for you alone, but it was a light that help others and at the same time was meant to be a joy to you. We can be serving hedonists in my world. Because it seems to me our greatest gifts are best shared.

Well, I have to go.


Later Gator,


The End of The World

The world looks like it is ending. It looks like we are in the oblivious stages in a dystopian novel. It looks like we are in the part of the story where everyone wants to act like things are fine and we can go back to normal. Who wants to embrace the end of what was stable. Not normal, there was never a normal for modern times, and there never were good old days. So, let’s not pretend human existence at some point did not turn its soul into a fire of cannibalistic consumption. Let’s not pretend we didn’t fuck everything up by letting greedy people make the rules and then take up all our natural resources to live. We have just done it long enough and enough of us have joined them that we have fucked up our planet. So, on a planetary scale we are dying. The Karma of extinction is coming upon us because we have done this very thing to other species at an incomprehensible rate.

Yet, we have to live. We have to go to work, we have to survive this moment. We have to make it to the next. We have to live.

I have hope that others, smarter, and more empowered than myself can make the change we desperately need. But the human soul, humanity’s soul is to forces. One for good the other for greed. The fight between what is good for me and what is good for us. This soul moves on a grand scale revealing our nature to us. At times we are loving. Other times we are monsters. My hope is the good souls that want to make a change get the opportunity to. My hope is those whose lives are brilliant lights stay enlightened and endure to create a healthier world. But those souls that want, that take, that see life and all in it as theirs, or theirs to take, I hope that they get wrangled in. That they learn satisfaction in simplicity. That they stop consuming the world like a cancer.

What helps us to live is what is killing us. I have no solutions for the world. I feel like a friend trying to let another know that they are an alcoholic and their consumption is killing them, while I am drinking myself. This is why we see movies at the end of the world and people are still working. They are still doing what they were supposed to do. They are trying to live in a system that won’t exist, but they don’t know how to escape the mindset that locks them into what it means to survive.

Okay, dystopian rant over.

Later Gator,


P.S. I had no intention of writing about this, but about the freedom to do something and the freedom from something. But it seems my mind is on the end of things. Probably because I see the world like the beginning of a movie with a news montage and then it cuts to 10 years later. A man and his family are walking on an stretch of old highway through Arizona. They have umbrellas shading them from the sun. The kids are ten and eleven, they don’t know what life was like before the first bomb. They only know what is like now. A second montage; The ocean completely contaminated with nuclear waste. Undrinkable, unusable, unlivable. The sea gave up its dead, sea creatures great and small washed ashore. The air in some parts of the world choked out the living. And in other parts it dried up. Back to the family, before the journey. The man had heard there was hope in a cave in Arizona. He heard it went so deep that they found fresh water, that it was pure, that people could, if they made it there, live. He convinced his wife it was their only hope. He didn’t know the way would be long and the journey could kill all of them. He didn’t know that highway was the territory of a biker gang. Some shit like that. Anyway, hope you have a great day.

Change Your Target

Do not think about the world. Do not think about billions of people. Do not think about millions of people. Do not think about thousands of people. Do not think about a hundred people.

Think about ten.

Ten turns into a hundred. A hundred turns into a thousand. A thousand can turn into a million. A million can turn into a hundred million. But don’t think about a hundred. Don’t think about a thousand. Don’t think about a hundred thousand. Don’t think about a million. Don’t think about billions.

It really isn’t worth your creative process to think about more than ten people. Ten people is a sane amount to think about. Ten people can represent millions, shit, billions. Ten people with similar taste, similar humor, similar interests. Ten people sitting in a room, finding common ground. Ten people who work together and go through the same problems. Ten people who love the same movie. Ten people who have kids the same age. Ten people who love going dancing. Ten people who read mysteries. Ten people who live in the same town and have the same consumer interest, like eating at the local diner. Ten people are various enough to have differing opinions about a lot of things and the same about a few.

Growing up poor, I have a lot of experiences that feel unique to me. But there is a camaraderie that comes along with it. My experience was my own, but others had similar experiences and it doesn’t matter what race or gender my poor friends had gone through, we had common experiences. Different brags on making life work. But we connected and laughed at our misfortune that (we hate to cherish) We all had our Bundy moments. I am sure there are experiences that you can connect to other people with. I am sure there are ten people who would be like, been there, done that, and wish I didn’t do that.

The hardest part of being creative in today’s world is we can see the numbers. We can see how many likes, fans, followers, and comments people get and some are mind blowing. But the simple fact is those numbers can be channeled into ten people. Your creative work in your mind could be manipulated into only thinking about ten people, shit, five people, okay, one person. Your creative output only needs you to like it. It only needs you to love it. The reason is if you make something you like and you can connect to ten people who like it, you are the standard if the work you do is good. You are the consumer and you know in your heart if you made something of quality.

So change the target form the whole world to loving your shit, to you and ten people.

Anyway, I gotta go.

Later Gator,